


evening, you gather back all that dazzling dawn has put asunder

by starraya



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, I decided to take a break from smut writing, Merry Christmas, So yh have a exploration of non-sexual intimacy, have some soft sleeply lesbians, title from sappho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 14:05:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13078443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starraya/pseuds/starraya
Summary: "I really thought I could do this," Serena leans back into Bernie's embrace, "but everywhere I look there's just ghosts. Sometimes I think that's all the hospital is."Bernie drops another kiss on Serena's bare shoulder. "We're not ghosts."-As the new CEO of Holby, Serena attends the first fundraiser party of the year. Back from Sudan for a weekend, Bernie waits up for her.





	evening, you gather back all that dazzling dawn has put asunder

As soon as she steps through the door, she steps out of her high heels. Flexes her toes. She turns the key in the lock of the door, draws the curtain and heads towards the warm glow of the living room. She leans against the open door, raises a brow at the woman curled up on the sofa in tartan pyjamas reading The Lancet.

"Didn't I tell you not to wait up?"

"Did you?" Bernie's voice is pure innocence. She glances up at Serena, goes back to skimming the page.

"It's upside down."

Bernie smirks, loses all pretence and tosses the magazine to one side.

"Aren't you exhausted after the flight?" Serena walks towards her.

Bernie stands up, shrugs her shoulders.

"I'm a woman of many talents, Campbell, you know that." She quips, but Serena catches her attempt to stifle a yawn.

Serena wraps her arms around Bernie's neck, draws her close. "I'm sorry I had to leave you the moment you got back."

"I didn't even know I was coming home till this morning." Bernie slides her hands around Serena's waist.

"I know. I just don't want to waste a single second. It's only three days."

"There's a lot you can do in three days." Bernie's hand slip down Serena's back to pat her arse.

Serena laughs. Her face hurts from smiling all evening. This is the first one that isn't forced. 

"You look beautiful," Bernie presses a kiss to Serena's lips, draws back to take in the sight of her black evening gown, the sheer sleeves that glimmer in the lamplight of the room, the silver brooch that glistens in the middle of the deep v of the neckline.

"Nice earrings," Bernie says, even though she choose the silver pendants herself for Serena's birthday, even though her eyes dance over another piece of jewellery. "Nice . . . everything."

Serena's smile stretches, brightens. Not at the compliment, but how good it feels to hear Bernie's voice in person and not through a telephone. 

"Was it a good night?"

"Oh, it was the usual." Serena steps past Bernie to get a glass of water from the kitchen. "Sweet-talked a few-thousand from some stuffy old men."

"That's my girl."

"You go on to bed," Serena calls, "I'll be up in a tick."

Serena hears the sound of footsteps up the stairs. She downs the glass of water in one go. Its freezing and chills her insides. She sets the glass on the kitchen surface and presses her palms against the ridge. She stares at her reflection in the window pane, the deepening lines around her mouth and eyes. The night was a success, she tells herself. You're home, now. _Bernie's_ home. The past year its felt like they've spent more weeks apart then together. Serena savours the days they're together, drinks them in like the richest of wines. 

But, due to that damn fundraiser, they've spent today more apart than together. And even though she knew Bernie was waiting for at home, all through the hours of charming crowd after crowd Serena could think of nothing else but of the people missing.

 _The hospital will recover_ , she'd told Hanssen. But maybe it will always be recovering. Maybe there's hardly anything to recover, in the first place. Nothing but ashes. Nothing but ghosts. 

Serena scrunches her eyes shut.  _Stop it,_ she orders herself. She places the glass in the dishwasher and turns for the stairs. 

Bernie has already brushed her teeth and is under the covers. 

"Would you?" Serena stands with her back to the bed so that Bernie can unzip her dress. She holds the front up, pads towards the bathroom. Strips off the dress. Her stockings. Scrubs at her face. Brushes her teeth. Returns to the bedroom in her underwear with mussed-up hair and the silver pendants still in her ears, sparkling in the dim light of the bedroom. 

She sits down on the edge of the bed, rubs at her eye, rubs away at one last invisible smudge of mascara. She reaches behind her back for the clasp of her bra - something satin and uncomfortable. A small sigh falls from her lips as she pulls down the straps. She presses her fingers into the flesh of her shoulder, rubs against the pink mark there. The moment her hand moves - to toss the bra somewhere vaguely in the direction of the armchair - she feels someone move behind her, feels Bernie's mouth replace her fingertips. 

Her hair tickling Serena's skin, she peppers a constellation of kisses across the top of Serena's back: stars dot silver crescent-shaped scars. They have no design, no pattern. They are both too tired tonight to do anything more than sleep, but Bernie continues her exploration regardless, only stopping when her nose nudges Serena's necklace. She draws back and unclasps the silver chain, before placing it on the bowl on Serena's bedside table. 

"I wished you were there tonight," Serena says as she unfastens her earrings. They join the necklace. "I wished you were there and then I realised how selfish that was."

Bernie's hands start to knead Serena's shoulders, her back. 

"I mean," Serena explains, "You've always hated that sort of pomp and pretence." Even though, Serena knows, if she'd had the chance and  Serena had wanted her there, if Serena had _needed_ her there, Bernie would have been at her side. "And, I admit, despite the copious amount of alcohol available, its rather lost it shine."

Bernie hears it, the tiniest crack in Serena's voice. Her arms slip around her.

Serena closes her eyes. "I really thought I could do this," Serena leans back into Bernie's embrace, "but everywhere I look there's just ghosts. Sometimes I think that's all the hospital is."

Bernie drops another kiss on Serena's bare shoulder. "We're not ghosts."

Serena twists around. Turns her head to look at Bernie. To _see_ her say it.

"We're not, Serena."

Serena captures Bernie's lips with her own, drinks her in.  _Bernie's home. We're not ghosts._

"It's good to have you back," she whispers when they part.

Bernie smiles, lies down. Waits for Serena to lie next to her. It won't be long before both of them succumb to sleep. Before they do, she whispers back into the night.

"It's good to have you back, too."


End file.
